September 27, 2011

Of yoga and dragons.

I just put this on facebook: “i'm trying to write a post about yoga and dragons. i don't think it will make sense to anyone but me.” Consider it a warning, but I thought this post needed to be written.

Have I mentioned how much I adore the movie ‘How to Train Your Dragon’? And that I was running around for days after and told everyone I wanted to have a Night Fury? Yes, I know the film only came out last year, which makes me a fully grown up person with a slight dragon fetish. I also believe I would have made an excellent addition to the Harry Potter squad of dragon keepers. You can get the extend of my dragon love by watching this again – I mean, come on, I filmed an entire episode of Life with my camera to show you amazing sea dragons dancing.

So there I was with my affinity to dragons on my yoga mat yesterday, though feeling like a freaking knight sent out to slay the dragon. I was Siegfried* and no questions asked. I had dragons and demons and all other kind of creatures inside of me and on my mat, which needed banishing. Or so it felt. It was quite scary actually. A night fury on its own. On top of it all I got quite mad, because I didn’t find the peace I was looking for in my practise. One thinks that doing yoga will give you peace of mind, some spiritual awakening or light. I got nada and then quite pissed actually. Then even more scared. I almost cried quite a few times. I think for the past few weeks I have almost avoided my mat, because it scares me. The things that move in my head, that come up out of nowhere it seems, make me want to run for the hills and never stop or look back . Like facing the really scary kind of dragon, the Night Fury kind before you know that it is a vegetarian dragon.
So after weeks of feeling uneasy in a place that usually feels home to me, something happened last night. Complete Night Fury epiphany. Class was over. I was lying still in blue light. The dragon had curled up beside me and started to purr. Everything was well again and silent. The thing that I had been fighting in me - it turned out to be a good dragon all along. I just didn’t know and was too scared to look till it came running directly towards me.
I came home and for the rest of the evening I felt like I was on a cloud and glowing. I couldn’t sleep, but that sometimes happens after yoga, I call it yoga insomnia and it’s quite beautiful. I woke up this morning and the cloud was still there. It still is now.

So there – piece of wisdom for the day: Face your dragons, don’t run away, stare them in the eyes, take them home, screw meat-free Monday, and feed them meatballs. And if you still ask yourself what this post was all about, just think of me with a little dragon sitting on my lap, doing 108 Oms tonight – it may just make you smile.

*German dragon Siegfried, not American tiger Siegfried!

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