i'm not particularly good at sitting still. this is one of the reasons why i never go to the movies and why i don’t meditate. i have tried a few times unsuccessfully to do it and still body and my mind. i either end up with roaring back pains which seems to make the semi-still mind not very worth it or i fall asleep when i attempt to do it lying down. bikram yoga was probably made for people like me as it is also called a moving meditation. however even with all the movement, my mind still manages to go elsewhere; think about cupcakes or how cute the boy behind me is and how i should pull in my tummy more or how i envy the girl in front of me because she doesn’t have a tummy to pull in. so all in all not very meditative either, but at least i’m working up a sweat.
on sunday i came out the shower to find my yoga mat on the floor drenched in sun and i had the sudden urge to just sit still for a moment and also drench myself in sunlight. even though the german in me is enjoying the cold and the rain and uses the weather as reason to stay gemütlich inside, the sunlight appealed most to me about the idea to sit on my floor and do nothing. i needed sunlight on me immediately. i am not sure if it deserves the term meditation yet, but i enjoyed sitting quietly for about
25 5 minutes, didn’t mind my wet hair
dripping and had fewer thoughts than i thought i would. overall it made me feel
quite peaceful and just when i started to rethink my whole approach of
meditation-is- stupid-and-for- eremites-in-caves-who-have-nothing-better-to-do-only,
the fridge died. i basically meditated the fridge kaput. so much meditative energy coming out of me and boom! – electricity tripped, me still and fridge still. great.
i conclude: meditation – good for you, bad for your home appliances. just like the bacon which set my oven on fire last month.