April 2, 2013

Why big girls don't cry and wearing pants is optional.

Last week was a tricky one so I decided to rather be quiet than mope. First of all there was this guy. This guy I met a couple of months ago and we started hanging out. And after a while of hanging out there was a drunk text message from me that suggested we should do more hanging out than just hang out. And so we did. It was clear from the beginning that it was going to be nothing more than that as he was going back to Germany eventually and so really what’s the point? But it was also nothing less and hang out we did. And stargazed. And drank wine. And kissed. And all was so easy breezy and therefore quite wonderful. You know how these things go… and then he left on Tuesday. Which was to be expected and fine, but definitely didn't make for a great start into the week.
In addition I had to have a little surgery on Thursday. Nothing major and again it was to be expected, but also didn't make for a great start into the long weekend. Add on top of this a whole bunch hormones, also to be expected, but my week was basically a goner.
So I took the week as a lesson in learning to go with the flow and the art of letting go. The operative word being learning as we all know how so not good I am at going with the flow and letting go. Me, the masterplanner of all things and life in general. 


Though I would like to pretend that it was the picture above and its Thai words of wisdom, which taught me the lesson and got me through, we all know that it is wasn't. As per usual it was only with the help of too much wine, pasta, Grey’s Anatomy re-runs and not judging myself whatsoever, that I managed last week. This morning when I woke up with an emotional hangover and realized it was time to get out of my haven, put on my big girl pants, and get on with my life. I should add here that putting on big girl pants is a phrase I loathe. Mainly because it tend to mix it up with putting on fat girl pants. You know, the pants you put on when you know you will be bloated and still overeating on chocolate. You know you need them, but they are still the most unsexiest, un-ego-boosting of all pants. So in my mind this phrase just creates a very confusing paradox. But basically I had to get up this morning, brave the rain and the confusion and put them on.
When I got to the actual putting-on-pants part, the ones I wanted to wear had shrunk in the washer. And they still fit. True story! Despite it being the day after Easter weekend and a week of major hormonal rage. Has that ever happened outside a fairy tale ever? Nope. Thank you, Monday Tuesday Gods!
This already helped a bit, though I still really didn't want to leave the house. I rather wanted to stay in and eat more chocolates and see how long it would take for my shrunken pants to fit no more. However it seemed the universe was really intended on getting me out of the house and thus it made me grab my Bwanwar fragrance which I hadn't even looked at in months. It’s a perfume I bought a few years back in the Seychelles from a tiny company called Kreol Fleurage and it wait for it! reminds me of my mother. You would think that is a bad thing…or weird at least…that I want to smell like my mother, right? It is not. This scent is my personal equivalent of wearing big girl pants and one that doesn't confuse me. It makes me feel comforted and grown up in a good sort of way. And as it is it seems to find me whenever I need a little something to get me out of the door and into the big girl world.
So now I am curious…is it just me or do you also have a preferred version of wearing big girl pants? What gets you out of the door when all you want to do is clutch the frame and yell I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go! ? And most of all I would like to know – what do guys put on when they need to wear some big girl pants?

P.S. S**t - I found the picture on a travel blog, I really liked and didn't note which one. I did not mean to steal and not credit - promise. If you know it or it's yours, please get in touch so I can credit.


  1. I feel like you wrote this especially for me! I put on my big-girl pants this morning after a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself!! Thank you ;)

  2. Oh good - glad to help with some good timing :)

  3. I think March was just a crappy emotional month for everyone. Big ups to expecting the unexpected.

  4. True...something up with the stars or such..lots of break-ups and melt-downs all around.


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