Starcrossed: A very proper book review.

I woke up with newly painted nails and a whole lot of energy which was probably due to the fact that I spent the entire weekend in bed with the Kindle eating Clafoutis (which I know sounds like an STD, but is in fact a warm cake with lots of cream, cream cheese, and a little fruit), doing little else thus re-energizing. This energy push lasted till now, till I realized again that it seems any ideas I come up with these days are being blocked left, right, and centre, and I am asking myself – why bother? I don’t like to do just the minimum to get by, but if everything else is being shut down, I decided to do what I please and write a book review of one of these books you love to hate.
Let me start with a question: Is it okay to completely copy the content, setting, and characters of a book and use them to write a ‘new’ book? If you are lazy and can’t come with anything original, okay maybe. But wouldn’t you at least rip off a really old book or one from an obscure author that no one knows so no one will notice? Why on earth would you copy a bestseller? A bestseller series made into movies? Box office hit movies? Box office hit movies whose the main actresses is a slut and cheated on her real life and onscreen boyfriend with their director, which we all know will only increase the numbers once the latest movie comes out?
Even if you are not a teenage girl you should by now have gathered that I am talking about Twilight. In this case the copee. The book in question copying from Twilight is called Starcrossed* and should be from now on called the copier.

So, okay, I will admit, this is not really a book review, I’m just bitching a tiny bit…

Copee aka Twilight vs. Copier aka Starcrossed

Copee: Set in a small town with crap weather.
Copier: Set in a small town with crap weather.
What’s the appeal with the small town and crap weather? Are we so over New York City and sunshine?

Copee: Heroine is a shy, annoying, geeky teenage girl, who has felt out of place her whole life.   
Copier: Heroine is a shy, annoying, geeky teenage girl with superpowers, who has felt out of place her whole life.
Oh, what I would give for a story’s heroine to actually be a heroine i.e. not whiney, annoying, and boyfriend dependant. I’m sorry, but all girls (teenage or other) I know want to be like Bella because of Edward not because Bella herself is so awesome.

Copee: She lives alone with her Dad and always has transportation issues.                                         
Copier: She lives alone with her Dad and always has transportation issues.
That would be fair enough if it didn’t lead to her controlling boyfriend constantly insisting on driving her around. In both stories.

Copee: Family of vampires moves to town. Yawn. Old news.                                                   
Copier: Family of demigods moves to town. Somewhat more exciting. Greek mythology has been a little underrepresented in recent prose.

Copee: All family members are ridiculously good-looking and have some sort superpowers.
Copier: All are ridiculously good-looking and have some sort of superpowers.
I guess good looks just sell. So do superpowers, but that is nothing new either. 

Copee: The family is rich and lives in a beautiful house in the woods.                                                
Copier: The family is rich and lives in a beautiful house in the woods.
Again, that’s fine. Don’t we all want to be rich and live in a beautiful house in the woods? Which is also much less depressing than living on a beautiful house on the beach in town with constant crap weather. There is nothing sadder than a rainy beach. 

Copee: Boy meets girl and girl doesn’t like boy.                                                        
Copier: Boy meets girl and girl wants to kill boy.
The old story of pulling pigtails. To different degrees I will admit that.

Copee: Boy saves girls life and she falls in love with him.                                       
Copier: Boy saves girls life and she falls in love with him.        
Does that ever happen in real life? Are girl just a lot less clumsy in reality? Or is it the (apparent) lack of vampires and demigods that make for more safety and less opportunity for boys to save us these days?

Copee: Boy’s family is sceptical at first, but girl wins them all over.       
Copier: Boy’s family is sceptical at first, but girl wins them all over.
Argh, cute. I wish I could be a complete idiot and klutz and still win potential father-in-laws over with my non-existent charms.

Copee: Evil vampire starts hunting the girl.                                                
Copier: Evil demigod starts hunting the girl.
Finally some action.

Copee: No sex though boy and girl are crazy about each other, because he might smash her to bits because of his strength. I can only imagine the hormones sighing in frustration and the parents sighing in relief. This could have easily turned into a teenage 50 Shades of Grey. 
Copier: No sex though boy and girl are crazy about each other, because that would start a war. Ja, don’t ask me to explain that one, but again no sex, no fun. 

Copee: No sex, but girl really wants to badly and keeps tempting boy and boy has to put up all his strength to resist her.        
Copier: No sex, but girl really wants to badly and keeps tempting boy and boy has to put up all his strength to resist her.
Yes, yes, evil Evas all around…

Copee: Evil vampire family clan in Italy.                                                                       
Copier: Evil demigod family clan in Spain.
Are Americans really just mortally afraid of anything European?

Copee: Girl is constantly pouting and boy is constantly frowning.          
Copier: Girl is constantly pouting and boy is constantly frowning.
Not a pretty picture and very annoying to read about as well.

Copee: Girl keeps saying she doesn’t need rescuing, but then does something really stupid and thus boy needs to come to the rescue.
Copier: Girl keeps saying she doesn’t need rescuing, but then does something really stupid and thus boy needs to come to the rescue.
Jeez, are women really that stupid or do we really need to feel rescued for our egos? 

I will stop here. Are you bored yet? Yup, so was I and the similarities don’t even stop there. Surely substituting vampires with demigods is not enough to call it a-story-never-told?! I think the only thing worse than a story with bad prose, boring characters, and lots of clichés is a 1:1 copy of such a story. Are the teenage girls of the world at least with me on that?!

*In case you still want to read Starcrossed after my smashing review, make sure you get the one by Josephine Angelini. Apparently there is another book out there also called Starcrossed, but that's about Aliens & Co and not Demigods. Wouldn't want you to be disappointed!