January 25, 2012

New boy on the block.

As official as it can get in my life: there is a new boy on the block. Which of course would get me thinking … being an almost 33 year old unmarried woman I can without a doubt say that I have dated a fair share of assholes. There is no other word for it and describing it any differently also wouldn’t make it any better.

There was the guy who told me after a few weeks of dating that he couldn’t see me anymore because he was moving to Houston. We ran into each other two month later at Club Monaco, both swearing underneath our breaths at the same time after which he tried to evade the awkwardness by telling me he was definitely moving to Texas this week. I hope he did and learned the lesson to never rely on the fact that you think New York is a big city. It is in fact not and Murphy has a strong standing there.

Then there was the guy who only came to sleep in my bed because unlike me he didn’t have AC at his flat. One with a mafia family background and another one who was a lawyer. No need to say more.

Yet another one who preferred coke to sex and who expected me to wear sandals in a snow storm just so we could get into the River Café. I refused, wore sneakers, and we got turned down because he wasn’t wearing a tie. Aah, a tiny moment of satisfaction and justice…

Moving to Cape Town brought a slight change in the men’s appearance (nicer tans and all), but not in behaviour. An ex actually told me he would like to take a three week break as an old girlfriend from Germany was coming to visit and wouldn’t it be convenient as I was due to visit home during the exact same time. Do all Germans actually look alike so you can just substitute one with the other??
I’m still a bit puzzled about the cheek of this though not as much as the fact that I actually managed to get stood off by a guy because he got arrested for alleged ex-wife beating and ended up spending the weekend in jail. Needless to say he didn’t make his one call to tell me he couldn’t make dinner.

Asking around with my girlfriends I am by far not the only one and some stories would make a good dating equivalent of the Blair Witch Project. So one can’t be surprised that a girl can get a bit paranoid in this men’s world and may despair in the attempts of finding a happily ever after. Which leads to the simple question: Are all men assholes?

I tried to find answers. Not very successfully, because upon asking my co-workers iPhone Siri (best research tool I came up with short notice) that exact question, she just replied: I don’t get this. Since I am in a good mood today I decided to take in the best possible way. I decided to take it as in No, you dope, not all men are assholes - just look at the guy you are dating, who just showed up at your doorstep last night to surprise you and give you a hug and who is not being an asshole at all.
Who am I to argue with Siri? I will simple accept the fact that she recons not all men are assholes and believe her especially since the above mentioned scenario is actually true and happened to me and not in my dream.


  1. Even though there are a fair share of arseholes , there are some good men out there. Like my ex for example - during fights I called him an arsehole but now I know that I might not find another man caring enough to read every scribble I write, cook delicious food for me and willingly go shopping with me. Just need to find them

  2. I agree and I think I'm doing a good job at it right now. Though the assholes make for funny blog stories. At least in hindsight.


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