The rules of unfriendment.

In case you were scared with my recently taken up dare or the giraffe post that you were going to get just puppy pictures from now on, rest assured and don’t be silly – this will not happen.

Day one of the dare went really well though. At one point while driving, someone cut me off and instead of yelling asshole, I shouted oi, dudey. Which is slightly concerning as far as verbal expressions go and I have no idea where it came from, but obviously it was far more polite than asshole.

Yesterday I also started thinking about the rules of befriending or unfriending someone – on Facebook that is. I and assumingly a lot of others have a love-hate relationship with Facebook and what it does to relationships, singledom, and stalkerism. We love to know, but actually we don’t want to know. Thinking about it, I came up with my rule of thumb of how much and whom I want to know: Just because I slept with you doesn’t mean I want you to be my Facebook friend, but if you are, I won’t mind having at least a theoretical coffee with you. Upon these grounds I recently unfriended Mr. April. It wasn’t so much to make a statement to him (well, obviously a little bit), but I just didn’t care for updates of his new therapist (girlfriend) and thought him now overall a bit too weird to be called friend. I thought all in all this was valid reason to unfriend someone, non?

I also learned that I had been unfriended as well. Mind you, I think I broke quite a few hearts back in the day and probably don’t deserve even virtual friendship from a few men, but it wasn’t even of them. Last September I met a guy and we hit it off. We hit it off like you always dream of hitting it off with someone. That was till he gave me the worst line any morning after has ever heard: I am still in love with my ex. Eight months later when we met again and hit it off again – for a night. Then he declared it could never work as I don’t like camping or trance parties. He was quite smart, the way he figured me out and had me all put in the proper boxes within a total of 3 dates… Anyhow, I have long ago given up on trying to convince someone to be with me, so I didn’t attempt any further. We continued our lives as Facebook friends who occasionally give each other thumbs up and yes, if I had to have a coffee with him, I would have managed just fine. Till I realized yesterday that I was unfriended by him. I was so puzzled I even wondered if it might have been me in a state of upset and drunk, but no…I only text drunk! So here I am – still very puzzled. If anything, shouldn’t have been me doing the unfriending?

In accordance with this week’s dare though…I am just letting it go. I will not ask why, I will not call him stupid, I will just let it go. After all I know deep down that he could have only done it for one of two reasons…

He saw this picture of me, realized he made the biggest mistake of his life, and now can’t deal with seeing me as a happy camper:

OR

I am quite guilty of spreading quotes lately, yes. I guess I should be glad he was the only one who unfriended me!


P.S. I am quite aware that this post contains a few words which cannot be found in the dictionary. I made them up, because they sound most appropriate and thesaurus wouldn’t offer options. If anyone can, please feel free to comment.