May 3, 2012

Ernstig?

It feels like groundhog’s day. I am having a seriously? moment again. This time it’s not the Frenchman, but in true Grey’s fashion the perfect combination of McDreamy meets McSteamy in one guy.

What happened?

Well, the old story of boy meets girl happened.
He called it a whirlwind romance and she liked the sound of it.
He offered her his Clash t-shirt to sleep in and she didn’t decline.
He kissed her and she kissed him back.
After that it was he said/ she said and things fell apart. Reality came back and life happened.

The girl, me, realized that all happened a bit fast and a bit too soon.
Falling in love takes time.
Getting to know someone needs more than a few dates.
Upon asking for this time, I was refused.
That’s fine. Again that is life.
Sometimes there is nothing left to say or do.
Yesterday I said a friendly hello. Just because I felt like saying hello.
I got a friendly hello in return.
Then a little punch in the face:
"I fell in love and I am in a relationship."

You think I am jealous and maybe a tiny part of me is, but even more so I just feel like a damn fool. Timeline can do that to you, because apparently all he needed to fall out of love with me and in a relationship with someone else were two days. That’s where the seriously? comes in. I know people who don’t even change their underwear that often (No, I shall not say who, but it’s true!).

If you think I sound bitter and a bit incoherent, you are right. I feel like a fool and for a first time I have regrets. Regrets of letting someone in, regrets that I believed I he liked Any when in fact I was just any other girl.

Sorry for ranting. I guess I just had to get this off my chest and for some reason writing a diary sometimes doesn’t cut it. I shall go back to tree posts now. If you want more boy stories, get a Cosmo…

 *That is seriously? in Afrikaans just in case you wonder. Let’s hope I don’t add a German guy to the mix, because I think the translation would be horrible.


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