“there
is no passion to be found in playing small in settling for a life
that is less than the one you are capable of living. “
what
wonderful, beautiful words these are. and how hard are they to
manifest if you are not madiba. or someone similarly fabulous. but
then again, isn't that what he is saying – that we should all be
that amazing.
i
am so tired of my life as it is right now. and yes, i know on the
grand sceme of things that is ungrateful and petty and my own
problem, my own fault at the end of the day.
i
found the picture above tonight and while a bit cheesy, it seems to sum up what i am
longing for right now. my feet in warm sand and sparkling light over my head
and someone to laugh with, to hug me hard, and kiss me even harder.
the
nasty, enticing smell of a big city after a hot summer rain.
the adhan. spices in my nostrils.
the
exhaustion that sets in after a day of exploring a new world.
freezing
cold and the knowledge that your skin glows in the light of candles
and the vapors of mulled wine. whenever i used to come home after a
night out with friends in winter, everything was so quiet, it felt like i was
the last person on earth and it was equally scary and welcoming at
the same time.
i long for the smells
that have been the same since childhood. that are so familiar and so
new because now i'm a grown-up.
the
smell of jasmine and the noise of traffic.
seeing
animals i have only ever seen in books before.
not
being able to sleep because the crickets are so loud.
speaking
3 words of a foreign language but being understood.
speaking
my mother tongue and being understood.
making
new friends amongst old.
surprising myself.
laughing at myself.
laughing out loud.
being
able to say i don't want to let you go. being able to let go.
being
scared and brave about the same thing and at the same time.
making
new friends and feeling immediately 'arrived'.
rain
and darkness.
summer
heat. snow flakes on my skin melting.
feeling
alive again.
living
that big life that i am meant to live.
I love this post.
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