Messy hair and inside smiling.

The weekend brought little improvement to my general mood. On Sunday I almost cried while driving to teach a class, because I was just so desperate to practise myself. Don’t get me wrong - I love teaching; I think I never had a more favourite job and I wouldn't even call it that. It usually makes me very happy to teach, but this time I just really didn't want to, I just really needed to slay an inner dragon or two on the mat myself. Anyhow…I couldn't  And yes, it was fine. And no, I didn't burst in tears. And no, I didn't torture my students a lot more than usual because of my frustration, though some may disagree…

However it just showed me that I am not completely back on track yet in terms of unwavering enthusiasm for life. I shall ignore your question of - am I ever? But at least I re-learned the lesson of appreciating the small things in life. Some you may call minute, but they still made me smile. At least from the inside.

Cheese.

Yesterday I added an extra ¼ mozzarella ball to my salad, to the ½ ball that was already in.

 It made me happy.

And then it made a little bit nauseous.

But happy was definitely first.

A proper GAP store.

One that is not in the Northern Suburbs.

One filled with jeans that fit me.

One with staff that was quite American. As in friendly and helpful.

A dance party in my lounge.

You can think about Grey’s Anatomy in general or me for watching too much and mentioning it way too often whatever you like, but it reminded me to have a dance party in my lounge.

Bestest idea ever.

Instant mood enhancers.

Almost like wine.

iPhone.

MINE. HERE. TODAY.

Thank you, big brother!

But nothing made smile more than finding this:

Yup. In case you wonder what this post is all about - this is it. I just needed a reason to show you this.

Me in a nutshell.

If my hair would ever fit in a nutshell that is.

Randomness reversed.

The mood has not improved by much and on top I had dreams so weird last night they actually make me dread teaching class tonight, which has never happened before. Except maybe the time when I was supposed to teach my first class ever and I wasn’t feeling ready and my teacher told me right before I went in “I want to see you cry!”. Gotta love him. So I’m not feeling very inspired either to write something clever. I would rather sit in a corner wearing the briefs which Gladys’ owned before she got married that say ‘boys are stupid, throw rocks at them’. There was a lot of wisdom in that.


Wisdom or not, since that is not an option, I am trying to think of ways to make myself cheerful and thus inspired. Nothing comes to mind. Quite the contrary. I thought I should make another list. A list of all my favourite things to do in New York, which would inspire me more than this life right now. Luckily I heard a little warning sound in the back of my head and yup, I wrote that list already. Even published it. Here you go, people. It has not changed a bit. The only thing I would add at his point, because Lula Cat reminded me with her Brooklyn thoughts, is to go to that little cheese shop in Williamsburg and buy that amazing Pecorino (?) we had one night last August (Gladys’ and I made sure it didn’t last longer and Rez was only allowed an allocated small slice).


I could be happy about the fact that I booked my flight for winter/summer – depending on where you are – vacation to go back home. But announcing the dates like the true rock star, which I’m not, to friends and family, I am now faced with the usual dilemma: People asking me to also go to XYZ and telling me no, I must change dates as they are on vacation, and anyhow why am I only coming for 5 days I may as well stay in Africa then... I know I’m exaggerating and it’s all done with love and people just want to see me, which is flattering and overall lovely. BUT it is also exhausting especially after coming up with a tour plan that had no flaw as I thought. I guess I am also not quite over the fact that there will be no other adventure vacation this year unless that millionaire does come along, marries me, tells me to quit my job for I should rather travel the world with him.
I do tend to scare millionaires and men in general off, so that will be no good. Still no inspiration. I could tell lamb tongue story which involves Cruella de Vil, lamb tongues (obviously) and a BALLY handbag and is quite awesome, but it may make a good post on its own and I could also show my pictures of the lamb tongue and scallop dish at Test Kitchen, which becomes even greater if you read the lamb tongue story before. Another time ... not feeling it today. Too hot for food and that reminds me to complain: what is up with the weather? I ordered fall and hot chocolate and my down duvet and curry and rain and soppy movies and a reunion with my cashmere poncho.


And then...


Just when I wanted to bitch some more did I have a little chat with a friend of mine. She started a chain of Facebook comments as long as someone announcing the birth of a firstborn by her remark of leaving NY. She is a bit upset to say the least and hearing about it breaks my heart, because she is so stunning, talented (check her out Grace Koo), beautiful, funny, I could gush about her for a long time. Chatting to her just reminded me of something important I should do: I must stop writing now, go and fetch my bikini and enjoy a last summer’s weekend on my cousin’s pool deck. Quickly. There may not be many more and one must go with the flow and enjoy them as they come. And if everything else fails, doing what I always tell my pretzel students to do: just breathe.