in
some cultures people don't praise the beauty of a child might it get
snatched away by envious, evil demons. that's how i feel about my
life right now. i kind of, dare not say out loud, no less in writing
how flipping amazing it is. that i'm having butterflies all the time.
travel butterflies, project butterflies, people butterflies. all the
good kinds... and to make it even better – i did it myself. i took
a leap, i jumped, i flew. i worked hard on my happiness over the last
couple of months and now i want to enjoy it and shout it to the
world, demons be damned and aren't they always? and besides my desire
to share, and okay, gloat a little, i am grateful and more than
anything i think gratitude needs to be shared, preferably other than
in a 3 x day post on facebook – no offense to those who are doing
it, it's just not my cup of tea. or as my cousin posted in response
“nobody dare fucking nominate me for this crap!” nevertheless i
am grateful and i like saying certain things out loud. just like i
love you or you are an ass!, thank you sounds better in my
mouth than in my head. well, in my case it sounds best on
paper/screen.
that
brings me to something else. i have a little business idea in my
mind. i have had it for quite some time and it has taken and changed
shape over time, but now i'm almost ready to get it out there. mind
you there are still so many things to do, but the general idea is
ready to emerge. but here is the thing...i am terrified of failing. i
am actually frozen in inactivity, if i don't do it, it can't go
wrong, right? today for the first time i admitted that to myself that
the reason why i haven't started yet isn't that i don't have time or
don't think it will work or that i mind hard work, i don't at all. i
am pure and simply terrified of failing, because i question what
dream will be left if i do. this is it, this business i am planning
is the essence of me. of course i know that dreams change and shift
over our lives and once they are accomplished there will be new ones,
but to see such an important one crushed would be, well, crushing.
but
with all the faults i might have i'm not a coward or a negative
person and so i need to start. with that said something gotta give
and it's going to be this little blog. you can probably tell from my
infrequent blogging over the past months that my interest is shifting
away and instead of letting it slowly go into oblivion i thought it
would be nicer to make a clean cut. so this is my last post. i am
still very much writing for the travelettes so you can follow at
least my traveling adventures there and i will keep my twitter and
instragram for now. as for my new baby i will introduce it once it is
ready to come out.
till
then a special thank you to thekla for inspiring this blog to come
along, to my mum who always prefered a letter from me to an actual
birthday present because she liked my writing, and to all of you who
read me and told me you liked it.
à
bientôt
any
that's me taking princess selfies in my bathroom at la sultana just before i flooded it (and the iphone) with my jacuzzi bubbles. |
Love love love this! Your writing is super special and I missed it. I am so glad you're so happy. Butterflies of all kinds are so good! Go read this. >> http://www.thesacredsisterhood.com/2014/07/24/follow-the-butterflies :) x
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ReplyDeleteBest of luck for moving forward :)