hunger for freedom.

this weekend i felt a bit sad. it started with friday morning when i woke up to the news of madiba’s passing. on thursday when he actually died i was eating dicke bohnen, my uncle’s recipe du jour, and they were delicious. i gave him an 11 out of 10 and he was quite chuffed. in hindsight i would have expected to know. i mean not some sort of hunger games bang, but i would assume something in the universe changes when someone like him dies and that you would feel that change immediately somehow. well, apparently not, i was just happily eating my dicke bohnen and woke up to the news instead while reading facebook in bed. a bad habit by the way that is on my new year’s list to break.
 
so friday i felt sad and i had a full day’s of casting and that never helps to lighten the mood. except when a very handsome runner told me that he was also a swimmer and was wearing a speedo underneath and would i care to see him in that? there were times in my life when i would have taken him on this offer, but as i was sad i didn’t even care. also we didn’t need any swimmers and why waste my time on seeing a gorgeous man half naked.

saturday it was my friend’s birthday breakfast which we celebrated at kirstenbosch and it couldn’t have been more beautiful. i actually took some photos and will slot them in here soon.
 
for the rest of the weekend i was sad again. I am longing for home right now. as much as i want to put all my enthusiasm into my last cape town months, i can’t. i just want to be home already, dark and cold or not. so yes, a major case of grass is greener on the other side.

in addition i am starting to feel stressed out about the move, organizing, selling things, sorting stuff…all the things i am usually very good at, i mean i get paid for this! – it is stressing me out.

to be proactive i decided on an early shopping marathon on sunday and i must proudly say that i now have 75% of all gifts and i got them in less than two hours. afterwards i was knackered. how i used to shop for a living in new york i do not know.

by the way if you are still looking for a great gift for a food fan, i can highly recommend hunger for freedom by anna trapido. i saw her a few years back at the toffie food festival where she presenting a somewhat interactive journey through madiba’s life via the food he used to eat and the stories about it. some stories funny, some sad, some yummy, some thought provoking, all incredible moving. i must admit that the book has been long on my i want to have and i want to give lists, but in light of recent events it seems especially timely to remind of an incredible man who even has incredible tales to tell about the food he ate.

The Devil Smells Baies.

Amongst other things I do have a bit of an obsession with candles. Not candlelight, just candles. I couldn’t care less whether they are lit or not. Proving my point, my favourite picture of my newest acquisition from Country Road on my recent winter splurge:

One might quite rightly object now and say - But why? Candlelight is so romantic and such. Here is why I find it completely unnecessary:

Scenario A – Taking a bath.
When I take a bath I’m usually in and out in ten minutes and it would take longer to set candles up than I could enjoy them. Plus I usually read in the bath so I would need to leave the lights on anyhow.

Scenario B – Dinner.
I think Gladys spoiled that one for me as she says candles on the table always shine directly in her eyes and hurt her. Therefore any candle wouldn’t survive on our table. I must have adapted the habit. Plus I like to see what’s on my plate.

Scenario C – Sex.
I’m very much a lights on person, but whether there is candlelight or not doesn’t really do anything for my mood. Good sex is good sex with or without and bad sex unlike facial complexions doesn’t get better in candlelight. The only exception here are the massage candles from Kiki de Montparnasse which turn into oil when poured on skin. But obviously they are burnt for a different kind of mood setting purpose than to make everything and everyone look pretty.

Having that said, I do love Carols at Candlelight at Kirstenbosch, which is the only scenario I can think of when lighting them is kind of essential. Though I love buying all kind of candles, I have a special fondness for the scented kind. Proving my point again, it is not about the candlelight, but the smell when you walk into your home. In New York I developed an unhealthy habit of buying only the most exclusive = expensive kind. Diptyque. When you worked in fashion it was mandatory to burn their Baies candles in your office and home. If like me you worked as a mere little assistant, you had the choice to either steal one from your boss (NO, never! I'd be to scared to get caught...) or to not eat for a week and save the money to buy one.
Baies is to this day one of the most delicious smells ever to me. Yet I was a bit shamefaced at times, when people asked me how much I must have spent on a candle, which I would only burn to the most special of all occasions. Of course this question would only come from non-fashion people and for a good while I got away by saying that cheap scented candles gave me a headache. Which is sort of true.
Since moving to Cape Town I had to give up on them as they are not being sold here and would probably force me to not eat for 2 weeks considering the exchange rate. Luckily my wonderful friend Sam agreed to bring me two when he came for a visit from New York. Unfortunately South African airport thieves seemed to have the same taste as me: his Prada jacket was untouched, yet my Diptyque candles got stolen out of his suitcase. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy for Sam, but to this day I’m still wondering about the thief’s motives and if there is a shack now somewhere that smells like Baies.