same same, but different.

it's my last night in hanoi and this is not a real post, but more a little putting thoughts on paper/ to computer ramble. i just returned from halong bay which was magical, but today was a just a travel day and nothing but annoying. now i have returned from a fancy restaurant where i went to out of sheer exhaustion because it was close and paid...well let's just say...a lot. i didn't even really enjoy the food anymore and would have happily traded it for a bottle of red and some homemade carbonara. yes, i am this traveller now and it makes me wonder if i'm a good traveller at all. is a good traveller supposed to want to go home? ever? or eat carbonara?

i recently read from a some people that they live to travel. and it sounds exciting and fascinating and it smells live unwavering adventure, doesn't it?

i think it's a load of crap.

i thought a lot about it for the last week or so once i started to look forward to going home. i think if you live to travel then you are doing something wrong with the living part. living to travel, implies not really living unless you travel and unless you are a proper nomad that's just a bit sad i think. i look forward to going home now, because i actually like my life a whole lot, i live it in a way that suits me. sure i also have times and events that are more exciting than any given tuesday, but in the end i don't want to live from one vacation to the next. that's not living, that's sort of just being...

last year i realized that i become a different person when i travel, the vacation me. that was a lovely feeling, but this time it didn't feel that new and out of the ordinary anymore, which made me think, maybe i am that person after all and all along. that person that smiles a lot, that goes with the flow, that doesn't sweat the small stuff. i am still me on vacation, i am “same same, but different” as the vietnamese say. and so i decided i don't need to live to travel. i will be quite alright just living and travel sometimes to remind me of it.