mcdreamy has literally given me
the direct line to him in theatre. and i use it. and while the
announcements at the airport are loud, the good news is louder: my
dad's op went as well as it could have.
i make a frantic round of phone
calls before i frantically make my way to the gate because they
mention final boarding. when i get there they have only just started
boarding, of course.
i would consider myself a somewhat
seasoned traveler and thus flyer, but sometimes i can be a complete
nightmare and then i feel really sorry for the people who have to sit
next to me. i have the window seat and the guy next to me has the
aisle with extra leg room, which i know he had to pay extra for. but
he needs it, because he could be a good runner up for tallest man on
earth. the middle seat is empty which by definition makes it mine.
i have to go use the bathroom as
soon as i finish shrieking into the phone to tell thekla the good
news. after all i managed to get a second g&t in, which i already
had to down because of the false last boarding call announcement, so
there was definitely no time for the loo. i am right behind business
class so that's where i sneak in to. mmh, air france offers clarins
toner and cotton pads, nice. i later discover that the mere mortals
in economy only get hand wash. but albeit the closed curtain there is
no purser guarding the precious business class toilet like it they
usually do – you know like the fire spitting dogs that guard the
gate to hell or heaven or something?
i sit down and start reading the
paper i grabbed, carefully folding it over my two seats without
annoying my neighbour. i have read that spread out newspapers from
their neighbours is a pet-peeve of many flyers.
i start to push the buttons on my
screen, but no movie choices appear. neighbour friendly advises me
that it will only start once we are in the air. i am doubtful, has it
always been like this?
have i mentioned that nivea after
sun lotion smells like very persistent men's cologne? guess what i am
wearing. considering he is a guy and there is the middle seat it
shouldn't disturb neighbour, but it disturbs me and i wish i would
have made time for a shower before i left.
food arrives and with it i spot
the word heidsieck. yeah, i'm in france already and i'm drinking
champagne! it's not very cold. and while a plastic cup doesn't lack a
certain romantic when used on a beach picnic with someone you are
crazy about, here it is just a bit sad.
i start to watch a sandra bullock
movie which is funny enough and together with my mood that has gone
from zero to forty-three in one phone call i frequently laugh out
very loud. i don't think i piggy snorted, but i am definitely
loud-ish.
my red wine arrives and while i
grab for my pie i spill half of my glass. which is a shame because it
would have been last as i later find out (really air france, we are
basically in france and you are rationing the red wine??) and well,
now there is read wine on my tray, my blanket, my backpack, and the
front pocket. neighbour kindly organizes a whole stack of napkins and
i dab away. i know that at this point he must think i'm a complete
nightmare so i make a joke about how it now at least smells nice.
which is clearly a joke because as much as i love the smell of wine
in a glass, spilled all over you in a confined space...no never. he
wrinkles his nose. drab. maybe the coke he was drinking should have
been an indicator that i manage to spill wine next to the one and
only freshly baked aa on the whole flight. i dare not inquire further
and try to look nonchalant.
i sneak back into the fancy loo to
clean my face with clarins. i think they refilled the bottle with
something cheap and cheerful. if not, clarins stinks. back at my seat
i realize that i should have taken my bra off, i forgot when packing
and dressing for the trip that i never wear a bra on air. it's dark
enough by now so i quickly my it disappear at my seat and feel like
david copperfield.
it is sleeping time. with the my
middle seat came my extra blanket. which is a good thing because they
are extremely thin, made for african summer temperatures that are
unfortunately not be found all these feet above ground. my new memory
foam neck pillow is awesome though it is a bit boa constrictor like
around my neck, which makes it really good for neck support, but
slightly claustrophobic.
i'm quite good at sleeping spread
over two seats. since neighbour has been so nice i try to keep to my
assigned two seats and not spill over too much. i even manage to
emerge myself completely at some point, but that position is a) not
very flattering because my bum is hanging suspended in mid-air and b)
almost impossible to get out of without having a lot more wiggle room
at my disposal.
his blanket is still on the middle
seat, wrapped in plastic and very slippery. i wish i could kick it
off the seat, but really don't want to be any more impolite.
after a few hours, could have been
one, could have been five, i feel the need to write things down.
neighbour is still up watching gatsby. i am terrified to open my
airbook, because last time i had the sudden urge to write something
down on a plane, i discovered it broken. airbook that is, not plane,
but still.
while i write neighbour has
decided it's sleeping time and has reclaimed his half of the middle
seat. for a moment i feel a bit indignant. and then i feel bad,
because he has put up with a lot by putting up with me tonight. i
decide that he would actually deserve the entire middle seat for a
little while.
I absolutely love your writing! This could be the start of your novel already. Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteaah, that is so sweet of you. it is good to know that what i perceive as rambling, others like. there will be more, but my novel has a different topic already :)
ReplyDeleteLove your writing! I'm so glad to hear your dads op went well! It's funny how when we are in a confined space, we are suddenly so conscious of everything around us, like our personal space, smells etc and it always turns the most refined into clumsy messes. Hilarious!
ReplyDelete"i never wear a bra on air" - really? Even CT to JHB?
ReplyDeleteThink I should try that